It happens, it has happened and it will continue to happen; miscommunication, misunderstanding, misinterpretation… which invariably lead to mistakes.
Then, shortly after one of these occurs, I hear pretty much the same sentence repeated across industries and departments.
“I was very clear with my (instructions, goals, plans) and they all said they understood…”.
Yes, there are times when you have in fact been lied to, BUT the goal here is not to play the blame game, but rather to improve your chances of reaching your goals. So let’s start with this common and outwardly harmless reaction.
It’s a proven fact that the language we use affects our thoughts, which shapes our moods and emotions, which influences our perspective, which affect our language… around and around we go.
This reaction is step one that leads into the dark side.
Dramatic pause… (insert your own favorite Star Wars cliché here)
I’m hoping by taking this issue and bringing it into the spotlight, the next time you notice yourself or someone else sliding down the unconscious and mostly unintentional mental slippery slope, you will become aware of it and stop yourself.
It goes so something like this… I was very clear…
I was very… straight forward, clear-cut, unambiguous, unmistakable, unequivocal, indisputable, undeniable, irrefutable, unquestionable, incontrovertible, unarguable, incontestable, indubitable, obviously true, understandable, logical, reasonable… on and on the thesaurus goes…
Bottom line, you were good, right, truthful, proper, accurate… yada yada yada.
And since you did not reach your goal even when, “they all said they understood”, there is at least a trace of the other side being the opposite of you. “They” were… not clear, imprecise, distorted, crooked, warped, bent, twisted, dishonest….
Which smells of deception, façade, fraud, sham, trickery, pretense, cheating, dishonesty, deceit, lying, treachery, duplicity…
Which reeks of, a ruse, artifice, fabrication, mendacity, deception, untruthfulness, corruption, subterfuge, ploy, a con… OH THE HORROR!!!
(That was the most thesaurus fun I’ve ever had.)
Unfortunately as the months go by, such comments cease to be a ‘trace’ and any unconscious or unaware meanings become hinted or veiled insinuations, and then open innuendos and then… it’s really time to go home.
When the truth of the matter is, you thought you were being clear and you thought they understood.
If you are new to managing and/or new to managing in China, be aware that you will probably have to start with measurable, baby-step goals and you will certainly need to begin the process, checking more often than you may be used to.
Don’t forget just because they speak English does not mean they think like you. (Check out High Context vs Low Context Cultures, here, here or here)
The good news is by doing this, you will understand faster who really ‘gets it’, who requires a different approach and who frankly, does not ‘get it’… and probably never will.
So be aware of what you are saying and how it affects you.